Poem Central

I see the cloud hanging
I don't want to walk
I know I should
I'm tired of today
I wish that things will change.
I miss so many things
I wish some didn't have to change
I see the clear sky
I don't know why
I know I should
I'm tired of today
I wish that things will change
I don't miss some things
I'm glad that they have changed.

Hawk

You circle around me
I try to hide
I like peace
You don't seem to
You think you are an Eagle
All hansome and brave
You act like a seagull
Begging to be paid
I can be a mouse
But also a dove
When I stand up
I am what you're dreaming of
A vulture you can be
Chasing, oh chasing
Forever after me
Slithering round like a snake
Thinking that I'll soon take
Can I trust that you won't eat me,
Or do I have to run and hide?
I am the dove of your dreams
But everything is not always what it seems
I am but a mouse
And to me you are a Hawk


Small Hope

For I don't know the feeling I don't know what to do
This song that is stuck in my head
Is only making me blue
It's inappropriate for a start
And unwanted to the end
I wish that I could tell her
What is seen around the bend
A sorrowful day it was
A tearful memory it became
I hope beyond hope
That it never happens again
A small gift of guesture
A smaller smile too
A smile of hope for the future
Is passed from me to you

Dedicated to My sister Lisa and My bestie Megan :-)

Speak

She may not say too much,
but she has alot to say.
Her thoughts are locked inside
and they won't go away.
Something bad happened,
a long time ago it seems.
It was so horrific and unwanted
a nightmarish dream.
It happened to her,
she couldn't stop it.
Not Crying out loud
keeping the pain inside her.
Loosing hope she keeps to herself,
but slowly she emerges from her shell.
She speaks very little,
but the word do get out.
Growing stronger by the minute she tells the thruth,
and finds herself.

I wrote this poem in the begining of my review for the book Speak - Written by Laurie Halse Anderson.

This poem not only represents my view on the book, but also it speaks for all the girls that have been through the same ordeal or anything simmilar - who keept silent for too long or not long enough.

Here I Stand


I stood there as he was saying his last goodbyes
I stood there as he was taking his last breath
I stood there not knowing I'd never see him again
I stood there as he left.

I didn't find out,
Til it was too late
I stood there, and... I knew.
I didn't get to say goodbye

I miss him so much
I often breakdown and cry
I wish he was here to see
The women I have become

Here I stand over the plaque
That marks his new home.
He is now with her
Away from the pain

Cry as I might
For the rest of my life,
But I will not forget
The day we shared.

Each year it gets harder
But I grow stronger
The years may pass
I may cry less
But I will still miss you.

For my grandad - Happy Birthday every year, Toni Buswell Age 21.


Forever Young


Lifes breath
Snatched away
In an instant
One moment

Where it started
I can't tell you
But it would end
Just around the corner

Young life
Gone forever more
When will death
Come knocking on my door?

Will I die young,
As did you
Or die old
lips turned blue.

The end for me
Will come one day
Hopefully at least
I get my say.

Dedicated to Kasturi and Joanna, both friends who died too young. Toni Buswell, Age 21


Soul Mate


You and I
We met in the Sky
It is part of a fantasy
We booth kiss
And Stay on a high
For you and I are destined to be

Lay me down on this simple cloud
for more we'll kiss
and scream out loud
You and I
A simple wish

I vision you in my fantasy
we haven't met
but are met to be
I yearn for you
see me prey
Down on my knees
too meet someday

You are gone,
for that I miss
the simple sigh
and our sweet kiss

My soul mate
You will truly be
but for now
Shall I fish in the sea?


Written to no one in particular - Toni Buswell, aged 21


First


I feel out of my depth
When I am around you.
I feel stupid and vulnerable
I don't know what to do.

I want to learn
and be happy in you presence
To learn who you are
But you don't want to go that far

Angry at myself
and confused about you carrying this on
will only turn me blue

I am a woman now
I'll tell you that
But with you
I don't know
where I stand


Toni Buswell Age 21


If I fall


If I fall for you,
would you run?
Where are we headed
are we meant to be
who are we together
I can't clearly see.

I want to know why
why you chose me
So, where are we headed
are me meant to be?

What are we to do
If I fall for you
I don't know how I feel
do you feel it too?

Is this all real
or is it a dream
can I have hope
and in us beleive?


Toni Buswell, Age 21


Shadow Heart


Once a full heart
Now cracked in two
Shadowed by deceit
Dripping with sadness and loss
Boarded with a shadow
Surrounding the empty hole inside

Black and Blue
from the battle
Red love and pure hope
Shine through

This heart will mend
With shades of blue
of many shadows
of memory


Toni Buswell, Age 21


If I was to...


If I was to die tomorrow
would I know the way of life?
If I was to live tomorrow,
will I know how to get out of strife?
If I was to Die tomorrow
would I remember my life once lived?
If I was to live tomorrow,
will I know now of what I did?

If I was to die tomorrow,
How many would care?
If I was to live tomorrow,
How many will know I'm still here?
If I was to die tomorrow,
Would I have lost life forever?
If I was to live tomorrow,
will I say the word "never"?

If I was to die tomorrow,
would I hear the sweat words of friendship?
If I was to live tomorrow,
will I see the world of friendship?
If I was to die tomorrow,
would I know what I had lost?
If I was to live tomorrow,
will I know what I have gained?

If I was to die tomorrow,
would I see who I was?
If I was to live tomorrow,
will I see who I am?


Toni Buswell, Age 15


Green Lady


I am the Green Lady
I'm on a journey through life
I have been through my share
Of pain and Strife.

Now I am starting to see
Who I can now be
I am not you
Or what you want me to become
Even with you there
Me standing under your thumb.

I make the decisions
I become independent.
I choose to live
I choose not to die
I choose not to be innocent
I choose to be fair and nice
I choose not to be cold as ice.

One life is worth living,
Learn to let it go
And live to begin again.
If we learn to smile
we can learn to
Enter, live and leave life
with style

I am the Green Lady
I am who you see
Here I start my journey
What a journey it will be.


Toni Buswell, Age 18


Dawn


Sun rises over the horizon
Darkness crawls
To corners unknown
Candyfloss clouds
float across the
purple hue sky
A glimpse of heaven
And forgotten dreams
Imagine the scene
It's between only you and me.


Toni Buswell, age 19


My Garden


Here I stand in my garden
In the corner of my own little world
Here I wish for peace
Here I Dream of paradise
Here I listen for harmony.

In my world
I am me
I don't have to prove
I don't have to hide
From horrors or nightmares

Here I stand in my garden
Where I keep a secret
No one else knows
Here I am happy
Never sad am I

In the corner
of my own little world
I am free.


Toni Buswell, Age 16


Love


Love is a part of the world
Love is a piece of the soul
Love is a whole of the heart
Love is all around.

Love can hurt
Love can kill
Love can stay
Against thy will

But love can save
A soul from hate
In the war of hate
Love does rule
Love will conquer
Against all odds

Love does not end
In death
Love is forever
Love, it is life.


Toni Buswell, Age 16


Rainbows are Miracles


If we can love the stars
without knowing the vastness of the sky
then we can believe in love
If we can believe in rainbows
after the darkest storm
then we can believe in hope
Somewhere beyond the clouds
beyond the rain
there are a thousand rainbows
One is finding its way to you
Our hearts are unaware
of what sweet miracles
will come


Author Unknown - This poem, my Granddad liked, it was read at his funeral and still touches my heart.


If I leave

If I leave
Will you care?
If I stay
Will you notice I’m here?
If I gave my views
Will you hush me?

If I am quiet
Will you respect and love me more
If I am a slave
Will you see me

If I do my best
And pass
Will you cheer me on?
If I do my best but fail
Will you desert me?

If I tell you the truth
Will you believe me?
If I try
Will you give me a chance to change?

If I speak
Will you listen?
If I am me
Will you let me be so?

If I am free
Can there be a new life for me?


Toni Buswell, Age 15


Watching Waiting

I stand alone
On my own
Watching, waiting
I see happy people walk by
Watching, waiting
I hear their laughter
I feel their pain
Watching, waiting
Listen to their worries
Keep their secrets
Watching, waiting
I stand alone
On my own
Watching, waiting.

Toni Buswell, Age 17

It Never Heals

Drinking takes the pain away
Numbness is a welcoming effect
Fears are put aside for a moment
Then come rushing back
With regret

You can not be cheered by a sonnet
Or even by more beer
Only a friend
Who is standing by
Will listen and let you know
They are here

Confessions stand out
Yourself unaware
They are reviled
The poison in your system
Will never let you be held

So don’t take it as a substitute
It doesn’t take away pain
Numbing your senses
Will make you do
The same mistakes again

So take head
My dear friend
Things will never be the same
If you waste yourself
Away in sorrow
Jealousy or pain.

Remember the past tomorrow
And live life to the present
Never stop dreaming
As life is a gift.

Toni Buswell, Age 19.


Hidden


Hidden behind the smiles
Hidden beneath the tears
Hidden behind this girl before you
Is me, a lost soul

No Idea where to go
No Idea who to be
Loosing hope and faith
By the second


Wishing for love
Wishing for life
Wishing for acceptance
From my own mind
As yours

Wanting to spread my wings
And fly away
From my prison
that is home

Falling too often
Finding it harder
To pick myself up
And walk through life.

Waiting for my time
That moment that is mine
To find the me
That I am.

Toni Buswell, Age 18


(No title)

Appauling attitude I have today
I open my mouth and regret
The things I say.

Angry for no reason in particular
Hungry for the truth
Of this picture.

Unhappy with life, love and work
Ashamed to treating my family
Like dirt.

Tired of being sick
Sick of being tired
Cringing on eggshells
Every day.

Growling like a bear at night
No one wants me
In their sight.

Lost am I
to no avail
Longing to reach
That long desired height


Falling from grace
Loosing virtues as I go
Right now?
I don’t even want to know.


Toni Buswell, Age 19

Little poems & Quotes: (all from me)

1.

Waiting long hours
Until the time comes
Tick Tock Tick Tock
The clock counts endless hours
Sleep is but a breath away
Held back by a brick wall

2.

I miss the way things used to be
No care in the world
Not I.
Protected within a mothers embrace
Now grown
In full bloom as the rose
Unknown of what thorns
I may possess
Regrettable world
Don’t let me know where I stand

3.

Held back from the world
Though I am grown
Denied the pleasure of freedom
Said to be troublesome
Betrayed by the misunderstood
Confused with illusions.

4

People are like rainbows
They are forever changing
Growing from small to big
Reaching for the heights
Up in the sky

5.

Floating on a never ending abyss
Looking for a love
I never seem to find
Seeking the beauty
In a world so strange
Crying out a name unknown
Missing yesterday
Wishing for tomorrow
Waiting for today

6.

Friends I have a plenty
Family I am in surround
Lost in a sea of people
Drowning on my own
I seek salvation
I seek love
I seek a life
That I feel proud to live

7.

As the rosebud blooms
It transforms from an adolescent
Into a beautiful individual
Like the butterfly from the cocoon
The beauty emerges
Bringing colour to life
To shine forever
In the sunlight of tomorrow

8.

Life is an open road for me
Not just an open book
As a book will eventually run out of pages
And conclude its story
My life will live on through others
This is my legacy



The Market Place


Oh what wonders to be held
Of food and goods to be sold
Stall keepers calling out their wares
People rushing here and there
Fabrics, clothes and ordainments to buy
Carpets hanging from way up high
Counting pennies, pounds and pence
Passing over change of dollars and cents
Sweets and lollies, toys galore
Things you wouldn’t find in any old store
Children shouting, playing tag
Mothers carrying the shopping bags
Fruit and veges, backed goods too
Chickens clucking in cages
The cows tied up, crying out “Moo!”
A day at the market place is very tiring you see
I wonder what a day would be like,
Under the sea…


Toni Buswell, Age 17